The Wife Collector

These past few days have been really uneventful for me, so uneventful that I had to sleep the whole day and occasionally wake for meals. My broken PC isn’t helping me in any way and its been days since I logged on. So off I went to the nearest Internet cafe for some exercise. I was scrolling through my email, my networking sites, ESPN basketball and the usual swill listlessly when an article in Cracked caught my gleaming eye. Here’s someone so outrageous that I just have to share him with all of you.

Everyone please meet Glynn “Scotty” Wolfe, the world’s greatest wife collector. His dream is to be  married, at all times, at any cost. Thus he set out to fulfill his quest.

Had his first wife not died after only a year of marriage, Glynn Wolfe might have led a very different life. The details of his first marriage are few, but he must have liked it because after his first wife died he got remarried … 26 more times.

Must have more.. wives.

Must have more.. wives.

To be fair, Wolfe was a Baptist minister whose strong religious beliefs prevented him from living in sin. But he was also apparently a horn dog because he couldn’t stay single. In order, Glynn Wolfe married:

Marcie McDonald, Stephanie Delaney, Victoria Ernest, Katherine Johnson, Rachel Jennings-Prescott, Charlotte Devane, Valerie Harborn, Charlotte Devane again, Frances Hunter, Carol Demmings, Priscilla Ralph, Katherine Archer, Lisa Walters, Katherine Archer again, Nina Morgan-Stuart, Chase Jones, Kathleen Briggs, Sharon Goodwin, Sharon Goodwin again, Demerle Goin-Rankin, Julia Santiago, Gloria Mascari, Vivian Alvers, Maria Velez, Eileen Shelton, Guadalupe Chavez, Maria Chavez (no relation), Christine Camancho and Linda Essex.

Wolfe’s longest marriage lasted seven years and his shortest only 19 days. 19 days! What the hell can go wrong with a marriage in 19 freaking days? It turned out it was a dude (C’mon honey, take your panties off – Oh my God! What is that thing?!).

Actually, we’re thinking it’s not marriage he was addicted to, but divorce. According to his son, Wolfe divorced one of his wives because she ate sunflower seeds in bed. That may be irritating, but most of us wouldn’t get divorced over it. Uncooked human body parts maybe, but not harmless ‘ol sunflower seeds. But what did Wolfe care, it wasn’t like he couldn’t just find someone else. He knew how to play the game. He is a freaking master.

The Wife Collector found his first Filipina

The Wife Collector found his first Filipina


~ by Kevin on February 9, 2009.

2 Responses to “The Wife Collector”

  1. soooooo lewl. tsk tsk. addicted to divorce huh. must be a game for him.

  2. […] Here is the original post: The Wife Collector […]

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