Very Nice English

A few days ago I bought a DVD of the most recent NBA Finals so I can pass my free time (which is like, all the time) in bed, eating chips and watching Kevin Garnett trash-talk on every other possession. Being from a poor third world country, I’m so used to the surplus of counterfeit DVDs sold on the black market. It’s perfectly illegal to sell counterfeit DVDs, but you have to laugh the way how the counterfeit DVD vendors set up their shops smack right behind the police station. A clear glimpse of the corrupt society that I wallow in. Anyway, the DVDs may have been made, copied and sold here, but for some strange reason the DVD jackets are clearly printed in China (the obscure fine print in the back says Made in China). What was really hilarious was that reading the synopsis in the DVD jacket was more entertaining than watching the DVD itself. I would definitely give anything just to meet the guy who wrote this shit.

NBA 2008 Playoffs Finals Complete

20, Celtics and Lakers meet again in the finals. From the historical record, the two have been encountered in the final 10 times, the Celtics won eight times, the pressure off the Lakers. But the historical record can not be deciding this year’s contest. All candidates for the position of comparison, the Lakers over the Celtics.

Center Kendick –Perkins vs Paul – Pau Gasol: Comparative Results: Lakers win

If there are no halfway joined Gasol, the Lakers have been eliminated. Gasol is a big man will pass, but also in the triangle offense in the home. In the playoffs, the Spaniards averaged 17.7 points. And Perkins Although there are several eye-catching performance, but difficult to shake Gasol advantage.

Forward: Kevin Garnett vs Odom; Comparative Results: Celtics win.

Kevin Garnett this season is the best defensive player. At the same Pistons games, he averaged 22.8 points. For the Celtics, Kevin Garnett at both ends of the crucial role. Odom unstable and there have been shortcomings. In the Western finals, his third performance of a clumsy, but later rebounded two.

Small forward: Pierce vs Radmanovic; Comparative Results: Celtics win.

Pierce has proved itself to the people of the scoring. Tiebreak in the second round of the World War II, his 41 points to help the team took away the victory. Moreover, he was also an underestimate of the defensive player. Radmanovic’s outstanding ability in the long-distance shooting, but the lack of other means of attack.

Shooting guard: Allen vs Bryant; Comparative Results: Lakers win

Lei – Allen seems to have found the shooting touch. But his opponent is the new division MVP Kobe Bryant. Bryant in the playoffs, averaged 31.9 points. And his shooting is as high as 52%.

Guard: Long multi vs Fisher; Comparative Results: Lakers win

In the Western finals, Fisher general performance. However, his playoff experience, tenacious defense and the completion of the fatal shots were decisive. Lang does not have many advantages. In the Eastern Conference finals the last three games, Long more than 10 in only 35 voted. In addition to starter contrast, the Lakers bench than the Celtics lineup also excellent. The position coach, Phil – Jackson has more than games – Rivers and the more famous World War II experience.

Stumbling roller-coaster grammar and made-up names (who the hell is Long Multi? – and what the hell does World War II have to do with anything here?), this one’s a classic. I couldn’t stop laughing for an hour, and when I finished reading I swear I was slightly schizophrenic. The guy who wrote this probably tried to do his best (you can’t make something like this up). I just hope it’s not contagious.

I should have gotten the hint when the cover said: English-Chinese Subtitles with English Pronounce. Now that’s something, not only does it have two subtitles, apparently it can pronounce English well too. There should be a disclaimer on the cover that reads: Warning – reading synopsis at the back may cause temporary insanity.

Thanks for the fun, random Chinese DVD jacket writer. You made my day.

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~ by Kevin on January 11, 2009.

6 Responses to “Very Nice English”

  1. yeah. haha. i usually just turn off the subtitles ‘cos they irritate me. yup, i’m still sane. Nice blog, by the way.

  2. Good to hear you’re keeping your sanity. Stupid subtitles really hit my spot haha. Anyway thanks for dropping by. 🙂

  3. […] However, his playoff experience, tenacious defense and the completion of the fatal shots were decisive. Lang does not have many advantages. In the Eastern Conference finals the last three games, Long more than 10 in only 35 voted. …[Continue Reading] […]

  4. […] However, his playoff experience, tenacious defense and the completion of the fatal shots were decisive. Lang does not have many advantages. In the Eastern Conference finals the last three games, Long more than 10 in only 35 voted. …[Continue Reading] […]

  5. haha..this one cracked me up..nice blogs=)

  6. hehehe thanks

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