The Globe Conspiracy

Contrary to the title – this is not a new novel by Robert Ludlum or Tom Clancy. This is just a long-winded objection by one person exploited by the powers around him.

Nothing can be more infuriating than having a big multi-million dollar corporation steal your money from right under your nose while you can do nothing but helplessly flail about trying to find any semblance of reason. You rack your brain for creative ways of getting your money back, which of course, isn’t going to happen unless you take really drastic measures (terrorist activities). Even then you still won’t get it back, but at least you get a warm fuzzy feeling of revenge.

But no rational mind would want to be likened to those a-holes with turbans on their heads, bombs strapped to their hideous bodies, and ugly beards on their ugly faces emulating their goddess Osama bin Laden. Instead of bombing the hell out of the damn thieving company, I’ll just post a blog. Like they always say, the pen keyboard is mightier than the sword bomb.

The big evil company here is Globe Telecom. Globe earns millions, if not billions of Phps a year, while I earn a pittance (that is, if I’m actually working haha). If one would steal from the other, logic dictates the poor would want a slice of the rich man’s cake. So it should probably be me doing the stealing, not the other way around, which is pretty much convoluted and downright unjust.

Modus Operandi, what they do and how they get away with highway robbery:

Globe offers services besides the normal call and SMS rates that cater to millions of customers and subscribers. Foremost of these would be Unlitxt and Sulitxt, which are so omnipresent in people’s phones that it would be complete garbage to explain it in detail here. If you don’t know what these two are, get a life. Or ask someone who knows and then get a life.

For the holiday season, the big bad Globe has seen fit to cheat people of their prepaid load wallets. I’ve heard of people suddenly losing their prepaid loads probably due to some system glitch but this is the first time I’ve noticed a company blatantly stealing money from customers in a premeditated course.

During Christmas and New Year, arguably the busiest times of the year where network traffic reaches all-time highs, and where people get red thumbs from forwarding messages to every contact they have in their phone books, Globe hatched its evil plan.

They shut down Unlitxt, just completely shut it down. You couldn’t avail of the service even if you tried a million times. Nice evil plan right? Now that you couldn’t send an unlimited number of messages at a fixed rate, then you must be forced to use Sulitxt right? Just pay Php15 for 100 messages right? Yeah right, except they messed up the system (on purpose I would assume) where the first 20 times I tried to avail of Sulitxt, it would say: cannot be processed. But later I got 20 freaking messages saying that I can now use Sulitxt! Apparently what wasn’t processed earlier was then magically processed some time later, resulting in me being able to avail Sulitxt – 20 freaking times.

That’s right – I paid twenty times the price but got the same service of only one Sulitxt. Instead of paying Php15 for 100 messages, I paid Php300 for the grand honor of sending 100 messages. Now that is totally awesome. I was totally expecting a greeting card that would say: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Sucker! From Big Bad Globe.

New Year’s Resolution: Must not detonate bombs on corporate buildings.


~ by Kevin on January 7, 2009.

2 Responses to “The Globe Conspiracy”

  1. Globe’s services is slow and very bureaucratic. They require a lot of paperwork even on a postpaid line renewal. With the advent of internet, a linked credit card from a reputable company should be enough to guarantee payments to the account.

    In the USA, you can order things thru the internet and have the goods delivered at your home.

  2. Yes exactly. Well, I live in this backwards piece of land.. So I probably shouldnt expect much service haha

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